It’s been 4 weeks since I left home to serve in Bangladesh
this summer. It has been an amazing 4 weeks so far, but it has also been one of
the hardest and most painful 4 weeks of my life. This past week in particular
was the most difficult. I want to start off by saying that God is so good. He
is faithful and worthy of being trusted. When I came home from Bangladesh the
first time in 2014, I pleaded with God to send me back soon. Bangladesh became home
to me. If you know me you know that it is one of my favorite places in the
entire world. I love the people, the culture, the food, the simplicity of
life... and so much more. God was so faithful to send me back in 2015 for two
months during the summer. Last summer was incredible, and although it was
different than my first time, it was good. My love for Bangladesh grew all the
more. I remember my last night in the country, I was praying and just thanking
the Lord for allowing me to go back a year after I had come home. There was a
peace that overcame me and I was honestly able to say “Lord, if this is my last
time ever in Bangladesh, and you don’t send me back, thank you. Thank you for
the time I was able to spend and for blessing me with a second opportunity to
love and serve the people of Bangladesh.” It wasn’t long after I returned home
that I got a call asking me if I would pray about leading a high school trip to
Bangladesh the next summer. I immediately started praying about it and began to
sense the Lord calling me to go back for a third time. The thought of going
back made me incredibly excited. I was overwhelmed that God was allowing me to
go back again. He is so good, and fulfilled the desire of my heart… because he
put that desire there. As the summer got closer and closer I was eagerly
anticipating my next endeavor. There were different fears though leading up to
this summer since I would be leading a trip. I didn’t feel adequate enough, or
wise enough at times. I was nervous about the role of discipleship and not
succeeding in that area. But as I worked through those insecurities God began
to strengthen me. I am not worthy enough, strong enough, or adequate. But God
has called me to this task and he will give me the strength and power to lead…
it doesn’t come from me.
So jump forward to this summer. Our team began to fall in
love with Bangladesh and the people we got to love. Let me just say that our
team is amazing. Each of the five girls loves God and each other so well. They
are flexible and so mature. We worked at a slum school the first two weeks and
fell in love with the girls and teachers. We were beginning to meet people and
make friends. We were starting to feel at home. After almost two weeks there
the girls went on holiday vacation to celebrate Eid, a large Islamic holiday.
That Friday, July 1, we had a great day. We met a family that invited us into
their home and we were able to share bible stories and do henna on the little
girls. They invited us to break fast with them since it was still Ramadan. They
even asked us to come back and celebrate Eid, which would be on July 7th.
We were so excited about this new friendship and couldn’t wait to go back to
share with their family. However, that night something tragic happened in the
city where we were living. Nine gunmen claiming to be ISIS took over 30
foreigners hostage and killed 20 of them. This shook the country. Even though
we were only around 20 minutes from where the attack happened, we all felt a
peace that can only be received from the Holy Spirit. Of course there were some
concerns and a little fear, but we all felt safe where we were staying. We were
told to stay in the house for the next 3 days. This was hard. We hated not
being able to leave to visit friends. We had plans. We had things to get done.
But we trusted in the Lords sovereignty. During our “house arrest”, as we
called it, we listened to worship music, podcasts, vegged out on toast, toast,
and more toast. We watched too many movies to count, and slept a little too
much. We were there for each other. We were trusting the Lord. However, on
Tuesday night I got a call saying that we would have to leave the country in
the next 24 hours. I can’t even explain the emotions; fear, confusion, sorrow.
We weren’t ready to leave. It had only been two weeks. We had two more weeks
left. We had plans, people to see, a country to fall more in love with. We had
just beaten jet lag. It was just starting to feel like home. Relationships had
been formed and established. Why did we have to leave so early? I remember that
night we all sat in a room together and read scripture and sang songs
proclaiming our trust in Jesus. We promised that we would not allow our present
circumstance to doubt God’s goodness.
Although this has been the hardest week of my life, I would
not trade it for the world. I have learned so much about God’s goodness, His
mercy, His love for me, and His faithfulness in every season of life. Upon
arriving in New York where we were sent after the attacks, I did not want to be
here. I wanted to be in Bangladesh doing what I thought I would be doing at
this time. But the other day I was reading in Matthew 4, where Jesus calls
Peter, Andrew, James and John to follow Him. This passage is interesting
because all 4 of them were in the middle of something. They were not lounging
around. They were in their boats casting out their nets so that they could
catch fish. This was their job, not just a weekend getaway to hang out. But
Jesus comes to them and says, “Follow me”. Matthew then says that Peter and
Andrew immediately left their
nets and followed Him. It was the same for James and John. They left their
boats, their father, and all their work to follow Jesus. You don’t see them
plead with Jesus to wait just 5 more minutes so they can meet their daily quota
of fish. You don’t see them ask why. You just see them leave what they were
doing to follow Him. We were in the middle of stuff in Bangladesh; literally… we were at our half way point. But God called us and said, “Follow
me… to New York City.” So that’s what we will do. When he calls, we will go. We
will do our best not to question God’s way, or to doubt His goodness. We will
follow.
